Stray Thoughts

The alarm on his mobile phone gently buzzed beside Diwan’s pillow and his arm snaked out from beneath the quilt to kill it before it started ringing. He didn’t want to wake up his brother Mohan who had come home last evening. He quietly got out of the room, quickly poured some cold water on his face, and finished his morning ablutions. He changed into his shorts and singlet put on his sneakers and was running down the narrow mountain path to meet with his friends Kamal and Bhimraj who would be waiting at Kundan’s shop. It was 5.30 am and the skies had just about started to become pale behind the hills to the east. After a few stretches the three boys, or young men, since they had all turned 18, started slowly jogging up the rutted village road. It was turning cold as the weather had started changing after the rains, but the boys started sweating as they pounded the pot-holed tarmac. Every day for the last month these three boys had started their new schedule. Early morning and late eve...

In recent years, it has become apparent that women’s empowerment alone may not ensure gender equality. Despite improvements in  several development indicators , including women’s education level and age at the time of marriage, there are many other areas where improvements have not been as remarkable. Increasingly, there’s recognition for the need to address deeply rooted discriminatory gender norms, sparking new interest in working with men and boys in particular. Several interventions that  address younger boys  both within and outside schools have been introduced across India. Programmes aimed at gender equality have been launched in colleges and universities. Fathers are being included in family planning and maternal health programmes. The issue of ‘toxic masculinity’ is also being discussed alongside violence against women. People have recognised that if men are part of the problem of gender discrimination, they have to be part of the solution as well. Gender equalit...

No! This is not a blog on POSH. But yes, it is meant for men. Over the years the term gender has become common in our everyday lexicon, but men still view it like a proverbial banana peel on their path. They avoid it, they step over it or past it. Sometimes they even wonder whether it will rear up like a snake. But whatever they do, they are always careful not to step on it. They have a primal fear that if they do, they will invariably slip! When I first started talking about gender with men, doctors all, from different states in India, about 25 years ago, there was a confusion about what the term meant. Doctors dealt with the body, and they all assumed that gender was the same as sex. Gender differences for them were all the difference between women and men. From mustaches and breasts to why women were better mothers and men stronger and braver. In those days, the many forms that mark our interactions with officaldom, the term ‘gender’ was used when it wanted the person filling it...

The period of Navaratri has just ended with Ramnavami. In the hills of Uttarakhand where I stay now, the period is marked by a period of fasting, praying and singing. Our valley resounded with prayers from all directions alternately reverberating and damped by the mountainsides and forests. On Ram Navami the Bhagwat Katha and Kirtans or prayers ended with the bhandara or the communal feast. Women wearing their best clothes with their children straggling behind them or skipping ahead, went up and down the road above our house, going to or returning from the Bhagwat further up. In the evening the sound of hudka , a local handheld drum, marked the jagar or prayers to the local god by the dancing shaman that went late into the night. Our participation in the ritual festivities was limited to having the puri, chole and halwa that our neighbour brought us. It was a dignified, peaceful and happy nine-day celebration of the new year here in our village. Elsewhere the news around the cel...

  Murder of live-in partners The morning newspaper a few days ago had the grisly news of how young man from Delhi killed his live-in partner with a mobile charging cable and then stuffed her body into a fridge! This incident was eerily similar to another incident reported about three months ago, also from Delhi where another young man had murdered his live-in girlfriend, chopped her body into 35 pieces, and over the next 16 days disposed the pieces. He did this in May last year and had managed to keep it secret till November! Before one could say “Goodness, what is with these young men from Delhi!”, there was a news in the next morning’s newspaper about a young man from Mumbai this time, who had killed his live-in girlfriend and then stuffed her body into a box bed. Apparently he had murdered her a few days ago and decamped from the flat where they lived. It was only after the foul smell drew people’s attention that the foul deed was discovered. If this were a detective serial one ...