Working with men: Closing the loop of Gender And Development
Over the last 50 years ‘gender
inequality’ has become an important consideration in development. My own
involvement in gender in development started thirty years ago when I was
working as young doctor in the Himalayan districts of what was then Uttar
Pradesh, India. I realised that women’s reproductive health was deeply
influenced by social customs. Women had to face many restrictions around
menstruation and childbirth. Many women suffered from prolapse of the uterus, a
condition in which the uterus, usually held in place inside the body by a set of
ligaments which acted like ‘guy ropes’, started sagging because these ligaments
had become loose. This was a direct outcome of women’s continuing workload,
including immediately after childbirth. As a young and enthusiastic doctor, I
advised women on how they could change the situation but I realised that this
was easier said than done. Women had little decision about their own lives and
how they lived it. There were layers of social control, starting with their
mothers-in law right up to the temple priests and the elders of the village who
were deeply concerned about pollution and desecration of sacred places if a woman
having her periods happened to be there. This led to my own efforts of trying
to build the self-image, confidence and collective aspiration of women in their
homes and communities, a process we know as ‘empowerment’. These women started
taking leadership not only for their own health and that of their children, but
also in areas of income-generation and environmental conservation.
Twenty years ago, I shifted from the
Himalayan region to the plains of Uttar Pradesh. Violence against women,
especially domestic violence had emerged as a new area of concern in the
development arena. I had become part of a larger state level advocacy coalition
on the issue. A state level convention in Lucknow brought together over 3500
women from across the state. As part of the organising team my responsibility
was to manage the food. From the side-lines of the kitchen tent I observed that
there were around 100 men at this convention who had accompanied the women.
Watching these men absorbed in listening to the discussions, but with no
opportunity to participate, a colleague and I felt that there could be a better
way to get men into the conversation. While domestic violence, concerned women
and their rights and safety, men were what could be called the ‘elephant in the
room’. We felt that there had to other ways to get men involved, other than
encouraging and supporting women.
We started discussions with many of
these first hundred or so men who had come to the women’s convention about what
could men do differently , not just as encouragement to women but in their own
lives and roles that they played in family and society. Through these
discussions, men started drawing up lists of things they could do differently.
First and foremost were the things that men could do in their homes. Starting
from doing the bed, to fetching the water, to cutting the vegetables, these men
started doing things which were assumed to be women’s work. Then these men
started taking care of the smaller children, feeding them, getting ready for
school, playing with them. At the same time we started a public campaign with a
very simple message – ‘ Chuppi todo Hinsa roko’
which loosely translates as ‘We need to break the silence to stop the
violence.’. The campaign required each man to take three resolutions. The first
was that ‘I will not commit any violence’, the second ‘I will speak up when I
see or learn of violence’ and thirdly ‘I will support the woman who is facing
violence’. Through these simple messages we hoped to challenge the ‘conspiracy
of silence’ which enabled and endorsed domestic violence and shake off the
violence associated stigma which prevented women from speaking out against it.
And soon a state-wide network called MASVAW (Men’s Action of Stopping Violence
Against Women) took shape.
In the beginning we were not sure that
these things would ‘sustain’, because a question we constantly faced comments
and questions like ‘Come on it can’t be true!’ or ‘What is in it for men?’ or
‘Why would men give up their privileges?’ or even ‘What do women have to say
about this?’. This meant we had to constantly interrogate and examine these
changes. For the last fifteen years or more we have been conducting a series of
studies to understand how and why men and boys can and should become engaged in
‘gender and development’ interventions across different states in India and in
different domains. We have documented the results in different forms shared
them across diverse platforms. Some of the lessons that we have distilled are
as follows:
In the beginning we were not sure that
these things would ‘sustain’, because a question we constantly faced comments
and questions like ‘Come on it can’t be true!’ or ‘What is in it for men?’ or
‘Why would men give up their privileges?’ or even ‘What do women have to say
about this?’. This meant we had to constantly interrogate and examine these
changes. For the last fifteen years or more we have been conducting a series of
studies to understand how and why men and boys can and should become engaged in
‘gender and development’ interventions across different states in India and in
different domains. We have documented the results in different forms shared
them across diverse platforms. Some of the lessons that we have distilled are
as follows:
1. Gender equality is not a competition. In order that
gender equality succeeds as a social order, both women and men must gain from
it. It cannot be a ‘victory’ for women and a ‘loss’ for men.
2. Men also gain from gender equality. But these gains
are not in the ‘visible’ public domain but in the more invisible but also
important ‘personal’ domain. This is in the form of improved relationships with
women in their family – their spouse, daughter, sister, mother. They also have
more meaningful relationships with their ‘male’ friends. Men from different
social groups across the country have counted this gain as the most achievement
for them.
3. It is
important to develop an understanding of privilege and disadvantage at the same
time. Patriarchy has historically created
privileges for men and boys, but all men are not in positions of advantage or
privilege all the time. They feel uncomfortable in their spaces of
‘disadvantage’ and can be sensitised to feel or empathise with the discomfort
they cause in their own loved ones through their somewhat ‘uncaring’
behaviours. Men develop a sense of solidarity and shared aspiration with women
in their families and a collaboration with other male colleagues.
4. Men
need their own groups to guide and support them in their process of change.
This group becomes a space of sharing doubts and dilemma, mutual support as
well as a forum for collective action. When men start changing their actions
like fetching water or washing clothes they are often pushed back and
ridiculed. Peer support is important to overcome this stage.
5. When a
group of men share a new understanding of social relationships, both with women
and with other men they start taking public action for change. Actions that can
support girls’ education, women’s participation in local governments or even
for conservation action or income generation, start first by men taking
responsibilities for domestic tasks which free women’s time to engage in these
activities. Then men can also intervene in the relevant institutions to create
more opportunities or reduce the existing hurdles. Public action is a sequel to
personal action and is an essential indicator of the deep personal commitment
to equality and change.
6. Another
feature which has been important for our work has been to relate it to work on
women’s empowerment at the operational level as well as constantly take
feedback from women’s rights activists during the design and review phases.
This has enabled us not to lose sight of women’s empowerment which continues to
be pivotal to all actions towards gender equality.
Over the years we have learnt that the way to achieve these results is not revolutionary and builds upon some of the earlier lessons that we all include in our development practice. These include mobilisation, consciousness raising as well as collective reflection and action. A key component is deep personal conviction among those who are part of the intervention that this is not just a public action but a part of their own belief system. Afterall ‘personal is political’ has been one of the first lessons in the field of gender equality and women’s rights and it remains relevant for this work with men as well. Today the need to engage men and boys within the work towards gender equality has been acknowledged and I hope the lessons that we have learnt from our work can also help others to close the loop.
Published in : Practice Insights Issue
15, March 2020
Comments
Post a Comment